When Nate and I got married, I decided to include in the ceremony something I wrote about what I thought marriage was and what I thought our marriage would be. In the days leading up to your wedding ceremony, you ponder marriage a lot or at least I did. So, this was my thought about what marriage is or something along these lines. It was a long time ago, after all. Marriage is a place of safety, intimacy, and love that the people in the marriage get to come home to, wherever they may be in the world.

I thought along these lines perhaps because Nate and I have always operated more independently of each other than the average bears, but that has never meant that the center of our relationship wasn’t strong even though it may not look like other folks’ relationships. This core we share felt like a “place” to me and I still agree with my 26 year old self on this one. Any of our big relationships have a certain feeling, a certain living presence in our lives that has a life and vitality of its own.

Those “places” between us, the living reality of our relationships take on different characteristics over time, right? Sometimes these places can feel expansive, loving, beautiful, and supportive. Other times, perhaps not so much. Our relationships are not static and they aren’t the same from one person to another. Each person in our lives has a little unique place, their own real estate in our hearts, in our minds, and in our lives. (I’m hoping this makes sense!)

In our gospel today, Jesus is talking about such a place that he has with each of the disciples and, by extension, with each of us. Even though we’re in the Easter season still, our lectionary reading today takes us back in time to hear part of Jesus’ farewell address to his disciples during the Last Supper. What’s the point of going back in time? I wonder if it’s because he describes the nature of their relationships going forward after his imminent physical death.

As usual the disciples don’t quite get what Jesus is saying and bless their hearts for their questions, because we don’t quite get it either. This is a text that is often read at funerals, because the story we most often tell about being with Jesus is that we get to be with Jesus after we die. It’s even a euphemism for dying, right? When we say, “Johnny went to be with Jesus or Matilda is with Jesus now,” we don’t mean they are deep in their meditation and prayer time, right? We’re saying they’re dead. We tend to think that we have to live this life kind of on our own until we die and only then do we really get to be with Jesus.

And yet, we also know that’s not really the case. That’s not the actual story. It’s not our reality that the totality of Christian life is we check the boxes of believing in some tenets of dogma so that when we die, we can have a living relationship with Jesus and the trinitarian Creator of the Universe then and only then. Or do we believe that? Maybe one day yes, maybe another day no. Maybe some days there’s a continuum of understanding. The truth is we’re figuring this thing out, like the disciples.

Thomas in the text seems to be thinking about how to be with Jesus in a physical place and in his literal thinking, he does not know where Jesus is going or how to find the way. He needs the address and directions would be nice. But Jesus says, “I am the way.” This relationship right here between us, he’s saying, is it. It’s all that’s needed and it won’t be interrupted or changed after Jesus’ death. The sacred space, that place that lives between Jesus and Thomas will not be interrupted. And not only that, but this holy place between Jesus and Thomas includes the great I AM, the whole Trinitarian experience that holds all that is. Thomas’ relationship with Jesus is the way to the connection to all that is.

OK….what does that mean to us. How do we respond? It seems to me our only job in all this is to stay faithful to that relationship with Jesus, to abide with Jesus in the place that he has prepared for us, for each of us.

So, what do we do to be faithful to a relationship? How do we cultivate those places that define our important relationships?

• We wonder about them and be curious about them
• We ask them to about themselves and their realities
• We get them presents they might like or do things they would want us to do
• If we hurt them, we try not to get defensive and fight back, but listen and make amends
• We say we’re sorry
• We share our realities with them
• We notice things, like their new haircut
• We say thank you and give them encouragement and compliments

Mostly, we spend time with them in one way or another, listen, honestly share about ourselves, and do what we can to honor their wishes and meet their needs. It doesn’t sound complicated and yet for us humans, it can be hard. Not only are we complicated and cranky sometimes, but so are our loved ones.

So, thank God for Jesus, because Jesus is OK when we mess up. We’re OK with Jesus. That’s not to say we never need to grow and change, but we don’t have to win Jesus back, either. That part is already done and he tells us there are many rooms in his father’s house. There is an energetic “place” that is our relationship with Jesus within which we get to abide.

There are no directions to this place, because a relationship with Jesus is the way and the destination. So, how do we do this? How do we not only be faithful but abide in this reality, in this place with Jesus? Maybe our list of ways of being faithful to our favorite people might help?

• We wonder about Jesus. We get curious about what God is up to in our lives
• We pray and we listen for responses
• We love people and God’s creation, because that’s what Jesus wants us to do
• If we feel convicted at church by something, we try not to get defensive, but get curious. Afterall, none of us are walking on water. We will feel convicted at some point, so we listen more when the Word of God feels hard and awkward
• We confess our sins and ask for forgiveness
• We give thanks and praise
• We notice God’s beautiful rainbows and mountains and all the rest

These suggestions aren’t meant to shame us if we’re not doing all of them or should even be considered all inclusive. These are just invitations and ideas about how to be faithful, how to cultivate that relational place we all have with Jesus that he has prepared for us. We get to participate in creating beauty in this place we abide in with Jesus.

Of course, a big part of this is prayer. I have many prayer practices, I suppose during the day, but my favorite is getting settled into a silent meditation where I just sit quietly in that place with Jesus that is just him and me. I eventually pray for others and lots of situations in the world that need our prayers, but I start with just me. If you are thinking that sounds nice, but what does that actually means, I encourage you to think how you might do that with a loved one who isn’t physically with you. You think of them, maybe remember certain details about them, feel the experience of loving them or longing for them. That is a way to enter into that “place” that is just you and your person. If they’ve died, you can write to them, talk to them, imagine holding them, and in some mystical way, you are with them, right?

When we do this sort of practice with God or Jesus, this is basically called centering prayer. If you try this, be aware that your mind will wander and that’s OK. You just bring it back again, maybe saying Jesus’ name or some other word to yourself as a reminder of what you’re up to. You can also try journaling or talking with Jesus. You can write out your worries and your hopes and your thanksgivings to Jesus. I’ve done that for sure, but nothing to me quite beats the silent abiding prayer time with God.

That place is there for you, prepared for you. And it will be there when you’re ready to die and be with Jesus in a bigger way that we only really get glimpses of now. But that place in which you abide with Jesus is here now, available now. We have opportunities to be faithful, open, loving, and cultivating of this place we share with Jesus. It’s all here for us now, just like all of our loves in this world. This is the Easter promise for us all.

AMEN